I got bored today so I went and bought myself a journal to write down my ramblings so that I can one day figure out what goes on in this head of mine.

25th day of Hindyear, 1036 years since the Divine War.

I am sitting in the Ranger's guildhouse pondering on my past and thinking about what the future holds for me.

I think back to my youth and the time when I finished my studies in school and made my way in this land to find my path. I was born in Thakria but always felt a belonging to the woods which surrounded the city. I was always saddened at the shadow which was creaping into the Greenwood and felt it was my path to fight back the shadow. This was one of the reasons I left my birth place of Thakria and sought out a Baron of Mercinae to allow my to become a citizen with hope that I could bring some of the Light of Mercinae back into the forest.

The First Baron I met was Mage Dervel, who from first impressions I thought was a grumpy shit, how right I was. It is only years later as I became Baron myself that I realised why he was always grumpy. Dervel asked me why I wanted to join Mercinae and told me that I would have to prove that I was worthy of becoming a citizen of Mercinae. I told him of my plans of bringing the light of Mercinae into the forest to rid try fight against the light which was creeping into it but he told me I needed to know more about the city before he would allow me to join. So on my way I went to search out what Mercinae stood for and read up on its past history. A few days past and I waited to meet up with Baron Dervel again to show him what I had learned but he was either busy or was not around so I talked to another Baron of Mercine Mage Feanor who seemed to be more willing to lend an ear to my request to become a citizen

Before becoming a citizen of Mercinae I first joined the Rangers guild as it felt that this guild suited me more than any other and that in this guild I could free the forest of its shadow and spend my time caring for the wild. The guildmaster at the time was Aries who was not very active and the only other members of the guild who were active were Cuthbert and Germus who I would see once or twice a week if I was lucky. So I had to learn my skills as best I could and get any tips I could when I met up with my fellow guildmembers. After a little while Aries left the rangers and Cuthbert took over from him and I was encouraged thinking that we could have a more active guildmaster in our guild, but this was not to be. Cuthbert's apperence in Avalon decreased each and every week and those of us active felt that we needed a guildmaster who was active and could deal with guild issues, so I challenged for the position and won. At the time the active guildmembers were Coignear, Laurishel (who changed her name to Elyon later) and myself. I stayed as guildmaster for some time and had lots of fun being stripped by Cabe for not allowing him to become a Ranger and also being sent to the underworld as a statue by Cabe's patron because I would not allow the Ranger's guild to be taken over and alligned with Thakria. Oh what fun! I later left the land for some time due to issue beyond my control.

It was some time before I returned again and the guild had fallen back into quieter times once again. In my time gone the guild had seen many changes in guildmaster and I also found that Cabe had been allowed to join the guild in my absense but he had become bored and left the guild. At my time of return the guild patron as well as my own, Lord Brahadair had been replaced with a new patron Lord Telemachus as he had become absent from the land at the time. I was appointed Guildmaster by our patron and planned on building our guild up once again. I think at this time our guild had 1 or 2 active members one of them being Gina. I remained guildmaster only a short time and then left the guild to wander the land and find myself.

The path I found was that of animist. Once again I still had felt my calling to the woods and thought what best place to tend my beloved forests than from within the animists guild. The members of the guild at the time were Mailen and Danae. I felt that my knowledge of herbs and poisons and my lore of the land would be an advantage to all within the guild. I enjoyed my new skills and foung that I was able to use my knowledge to further study the quests and history of the land and pass this information on to others. But my joy would not last long. On one day as I was talking to a member of the guild and sharing what I had learned on my travels we were payed a visit by Seer Cabe who attacked and killed both of us. This was the turning point on my journey as a animist and which would later make me to choose to leave the guild. As far as I was concerned to kill an animist was lower than low as we were not fighters but it just showed me a level that some within the land were willing to stoop to just for the sake of gaining a little xp and going up the fighters list. I went through a stage where I thought that I should try and change peoples views on killing and get them to see that we could achieve more than just being a land where everyone jumps, strips, muders and kills everyone but all I managed to do was make more enemies and bring on more attacks to myself and the guild. I was called a murderer and told that I was abusing my skills when I tried to use decompose to stop people from killing me and those who I was protecting. I was told that we were not to use decompose and given disfavour by a god because his view was that I should not be using it. I became angry at this land and the gods for allowing people like Cabe, Aear, Zooka and Mazrackia to go from one person to another and kill them and then as soon as they had come off dp to go and kill them again. I became angry at myself for feeling weak and not being able to do anything about it. I became angry every time I told someone that I was fed up of us not being able to help others and stop them being killed and getting the reply, you can do a lot, put up glades, evoke peace. I became angry! I returned to the land one day after being jumped by Cabe and Mazrackia to find that all my items which I had left in the guild while I forest formed had been stolen. My armour which I had since I was a young Cub in the Rangers which was made for me by Eva was gone, I was naked and had many curses which Cabe had placed on me. I decided I needed some time to think so I made my way up to azrili and sat in a pear tree to think about who I was and where my path was leading me. As I sat in the tree naked and pondering what I had become I realised that for the sake of the animist guild I would leave so that the attacks on them would lessen. So I quit the guild and gave up the profession of Druid as my oath to Lord Telemachus required me to do. I sat, ate some pears and listened to the wind blowing through the branches and found myself finding peace within myself. I drifted back to my memories of my youth and how I had planned to rid the shadow from the forest. As I sat it came to me that instead of fighting to rid the shadow from the woods I should have been fighting to rid the shadow that had crept into my soul, my anger. I decided to return to the Rangers guild and hopefully to carry on what I had started so long ago but which I never finished. I am guild master once again and have achieved a lot in my few weeks as guild master of our guild. I was not much of a good fighter while I was a Ranger but I know now that in order for me to last in this land I will need to learn my skills and fight back. I know that my shadow will always be with me and that I will have to learn to control this anger and pain which this land has caused to me for fear I may turn into something I hate the most, for fear that I may become my shadow.

So here I sit in my beloved home once again where I feel at ease and at peace but I know that outside these walls there is a land of pain and hurt that I will have to deal with. The shadow has crept further into this land than I had expected.

woot i got a mention!!!

a good read, i enjoyed it.

Been a while since I update this thing so I decided to take some time out of busy picking schedule to write a few notes.

The date is 8th day of Hindyear, 1047 and I have been picking poisons and herbs to restock the guild store again only to find that someone has once again picked the locks, removed them and cleared the store out. Bloody locks are a pain in the neck. Its not the fact that the locks get destroyed its that fact that the only people we can get locks from are thieves, not the most trustworthy.

A lot has happened since the last time I wrote in my journal the biggest being me quitting my home city Mercinae. It came a time when I just could no longer put up with the way Mercinae was going and how some of the citizens were in my eyes not living up to what Mercinae once was. I had always dedicated myself to my city and every effort I made was for the betterment of the city and its citizens. I always believed in the ideals that Mercinae once stood for which were truth, justice, honour, respect and loyalty but I found that many citizens only followed these ideals when it suited them and that they put themselves before their city and fellow citizens. When I returned I noticed a big change in Mercinae and its citizens from the last time I had been in the land. The city was falling apart at the seams and many of its citizens were divided and leaderless. One of the biggest issues was the lack of faith of some of the citizens in the Barons of the city and from what I had heard an upheaval had taken place in the city which drove a couple of citizens to leave the city and one to leave the land. I decided that I would do my best to aid our city to come together once more and strive to unite the city again and bring back the glory days that I had seen in my youth. I began talking with some of the citizens to find out what was wrong and to see what could be done to change things around. Many who I spoke for thought that the Barons were doing what they could to aid the city but that the people had no voice or no say in what was happening in the city. I then came up with the idea of trying to form a city council made up of a member from each guild who would be the voice of the people and aid them and the barons in directing the city and its citizens in the right direction, I called it the Council of Light. I ran the idea by a few citizens and all said that this is what was needed in the city and it would be a great thing to set up. What I did find was that although many supported me and the idea when it came to people coming forward to voice their opinions and get the ball rolling I was left on my own. A few of us in the city felt that we needed a active Baron in the city to get things moving and run the city so I put my name forward for the position and won. I then used this opportunity to push the idea of the Council of Light forward and I began to hold regular meetings with citizens to talk about what was happening in the city and come up with new ideas about how to improve things( I would later be mocked by a fellow citizen for calling so many meetings). Another idea that came up was the need for city laws and as our city patron was Lord Telemachus I thought that it was only right that we come up with some laws for our city and put them forward to be voted on. I asked at one of the meetings for all citizens to submit laws or ideas for laws so that we could get things moving on changing our city for the better and involving everyone in the process, once again a lot of people loved the idea but when it came to getting it done I was again left on my own. So I put pen to paper and wrote out a whole set of laws, Court procedures and punishments and I put them up to be voted on and submitted them to our Patron for approval. All seem to be going ok but I was getting fed up with the lack of support I was getting from my fellow citizens. Then came the time of change for me which started me down the road of quitting my city. An election came up once again to have another active person take on the role of Baron and aid me in running the city. Ignatious won the election for Baron and I thought to myself that this would be great as Ignatious had agreed with many of my ideas for the city and he thought along the same lines as what we thought Mercinae stood for, or so I thought. As Baron I had spent a lot of time working the stalls, clearing out the resource of years of poorly managed stock, cleared up the houses list pushed for the council of light and the laws and put some up for sale for citizens to purchase and had recruited and started to train the city legions. All this seemed to be forgotten when the time came where I could no longer hold my tongue about some issues that our newly elected Baron had caused. First Ignatious decided that we would become thieves and he raided thakrias crops stealing them and getting caught in the act. One of our citizens who helped him fight the Thakrians died and had most of his items taken only for Ignatious to return the crops which were stolen. Next Ignatious turned a personal dispute with a member of the Brigands guild into a city issue which led to Parrian troops being marched on his guild and damage being caused to our city. I being a very passionate person got involved in a public dispute with Ignatious about some of his actions and in the end caused much damage to myself for this as nobody else would stand up and voice what everyone was saying about what had been going on. I decided that I could no longer be Baron and have all the work I had done be wasted because of the actions of another Baron so I stopped coming to the land for a bit until someone came forward to question me. So I was replaced as Baron of Mercinae. Time moved on and a new list of laws were drawn up by the new Baron and approved by all. Our city and my patron Lord Telemachus thought that I would take it bad that the laws I had come up with were pushed to the side and replaced with the new ones but I was just happy to see that laws were being introduced once and for all, I did not care who did it as long as it was done. So time went on and as far as I was concerned things in the city seemed to continue to get worse. Some of the citizens fought for themselves and not for the city and some of the citizens were just content to claim to be a citizen of Mercinae the city of light. The ideals that Mercinae once stood for seemed to become a joke with the only ones that did not get it were those who called themselves Mercinaen. The final straw for me was an issue many claimed was trivial but I basically had just had enough of the attitude that had been growing in the city and this was for me the straw that broke the camels back. A fellow citizen had for some time been using cold cones to annoy and hamper his enemies without ever thinking that they were also harming and hampering his follow citizens. Again many of the citizens would gather in the city square and would voice how they were fed up of this citizen using cold cones all over the city and around path entrance but again nobody would do anything about it. So I asked this fellow citizen would he stop using the cold cones as they were causing people harm and if he could not get rid of him that he should not set them. The reply I got was to use cold resist. I tried to explain that using cold cones was harming everyone and was not very not we as citizen of Mercinae should be doing and again I asked would he stop using them and the reply I got was, Ill think about it. Ill think about it! What was their to think about! Should I stop using something that harms everyone or will I continue to do what I want. I decided that this was a disgraceful attitude for someone to have and decided that I would put the city laws up to the test so I lodged a complaint with the Barons. Things did not go to plan. My fellow citizen decided to show the copy of my complaint to his patron and his patron shout out for all to see that I was a coward and I created more trouble for Mercinae than all its enemies. Where was the justice in this? I decided I would wait and talk to my patron about it and see what he would say but after thinking about it I decided that I had had enough and could fight no longer for a lost cause. The ideals of Mercinae for me were just something that its citizens could claim to live by but when it came down to it they were false claims. So I quit the city and left my order as I felt I thought I could not stay in an order when my faith in Justice was no longer there. For me the light that once emitted from Mercinae had been dimmed and those who now called themselves Mercineans were living off past glories instead of creating their own.

Mercinae was my home for a long time and I will hold dear to many great memories but the current Mercinae for me seems to bring shame to all the fine work that was done thought the years by some of the finest men and women to ever walk the land. Mercinae has always had many enemies outside its walls but of late the biggest threat to the city is the citizens itself. Many citizens of Mercinae if told the truth about how their city is will always try to fight and say that these are lies and untrue but they are afraid to admit that there is something wrong with the city and unless you can admit something is wrong then you will never make a change. It has been said many times that it takes more than one person to change a city and I know more than most how true this is. The work I did for Mercinae was easily forgotten and my dedication to the city was for nothing. So here I am city less and living off the land and I have not been this happy in a long time. No longer do I have to worry about a city and dedicating myself to a cause which has been lost a long time ago. Now I live by the ideals of the old Mercinae and I carry that light within me which I spread to all who I come into contact with as a true citizen should do. I am a child of light held by my own ideals.



Damn this was long, I did not mean to spend so much time on it but I needed to get it out.