Mazrackia'a Journal

Subject: Mazrackia'a Journal Sun Aug 24, 2008 11:50 pm

Something that I have been wanting to do for a long time. Reading the many journals of my time I feel that it is important for me to leave my mark here. I also feel that many will enjoy what I will write and maybe learn from my adventures. Enjoy

Subject: Re: Mazrackia'a Journal Mon Aug 25, 2008 12:46 am

20th day of Midsummer, 1030 years since the Divine War.

I have lost myself in memories of the past today. As I rewind from current day, I remember the many happinesses and the many disappointments that I had experienced. Realizing that my memories are slightly clouded and some what incomplete, I decide that it is a must for me to write down the memories that have impacted me the most and lead me to where I am today.

The most enjoyable memory was that of when I entered the world. The difficulty of this time was immense. I could not travel the land without being lost a thousand times. The challenges of the land are numerous and very difficult to adjust to. I found friendship in many citizens of Thakria. The likes of Aear, Karma, and Ashmael proved to be essential foundation blocks for my development. Their patience and understanding allowed me to experience the world without fear of consequence or harm. During those first few months of my life, i relied heavily on their support and assitance. It proved to be a weakness though. My dependency on those such as Aear and Karma meant that I did little to prosper myself. I knew that i could go to them and the answers provided to me. However, one must experience the world of Avalon with out the guidance of others. Without this experience, your personal foundation has no strength. Cabe, Baron of Thakria, saw me for what I was. Annoyed at my very presence and disgusted by my questions, he threw me out of Thakria. As a result, Aear removed me from the first guild I had ever joined.

Enraged, Frustrated, Angered, Disgruntalled, and Betrayed were just a few of the emotions that I felt during that time. What happened, happened. I was forced to move on. To grow elsewhere. Mercinae became my new home, but not without hesitation. Thakria was my first home. I knew that I wanted to do my City proud. How could I though as the City's Barons would remove me from their ranks. I sought out those who had befriended me and asked for them to speak on my behalf, to allow me citizenship and ultimately a second chance to prove my worth. That day did not happen until many years later.

Accepting defeat was the first true difficulty of the land for me. I was thrown away from all that I knew and left for the wolves. I knew that I was in no condition to fend for myself as there was still much I had not known. I seeked new shelter and new companionship and found a new home in the city of Mercinae. Immediatlely, i found friendship in one who calls himself, Onix. Others helped me adjust to the world of avalon as well. I found companionship in the likes of Firentz, Amun, Stray, Nevaeh, and many others. The citizens of Mercinae opened their arms to me and I ran to them without hesitation. The world of Avalon is a much more dangerous world if you have no allies. It was in my best interest to associate myself with others.

Mercinae and the Rangers guild allowed myself to gain more experience in the land. I could have easily gained that experience with Thakria, however if it wasn't for the direct impact of being thrown out of Thakria, I would not have had the determination to gain experience for myself nor the desire to prove the City of thakria of its mistake.

I thought everyday about the actions of Cabe and hoped to prove myself superior to him on the battlefield one day. Through time though, my personal feelings towards Cabe and that of Thakria would become nothing more then mere rivalary. No longer focused on redeeming myself or proving myself to Cabe, my progression lead me to other alleys of life within Avalon. I found close companionship with a female named Neamhain. The relationship ended on a poor note though. Eventually I was not satisfied with the government of Mercinae. Flaws become apparent to me. The lazyness of the Barons and the inability for the citizens of Mercinae to stand united bothered me greatly.

I choose to bring my concerns to those that i felt could change it. The Barons heard my complaints and rejected their responsibilities to the City and their citizens. A revolt was bound to happen if something didn't change at this point...

Alas, my mind grows tired and seeks the refuge of a good night sleep. Another day, I will pick up from where I have left behind.

Note** I am trying to leave this journal as if it was my in-game persona. As such, i hope that none of this will be mentioned in actual game play as you would not actually be allowed to read my In game Journal. I wish to leave this here though as both a reminder to myself of what I have gone through and so I don't forget. Also for the enjoyment of the members of Avalon. I will continue writing my journal for my own personal reasons but if you have questions/comments/concerns/ect. please provide me a personal message here or msg me in game (where it costs 5 gold to message). Please enjoy!

Subject: Re: Mazrackia'a Journal Wed Aug 27, 2008 3:14 pm

In Avalon, it is the 22nd day of Hindyear, 1030 years since the Divine War.

Mindlessly i pick up my piece of parchment and begin where I left off.

Mercinae became my home, but turned out to be a place of betrayal. Friends, loved ones, people I once respected and valued abandoned me and called me traitor. In the midst of dealing with the problems of Mercinae, many lies were told which further aggrivated the situation. The accused liar was none other then Onix.

A man who i considered at one point to be the greatest of friends. Onix betrayed me at every turn. Manufacturing lies that would cause others to lose trust in my actions, and question my intentions for the city of Mercinae. At the time, i was completely invested in the citizens and the city of Mercinae. Onix's lies open wounds that I thought would never heal. However, what hurt even more so, was the way others responded to these lies.

Nevaeh, Baroness at the time, approached me and provided me with ultimatums. She indicated that if I put Mercinae at risk again, I would no longer be a citizen. Nevaeh had done this to me two times before and the third time, I had enough. I held Nevaeh in high regards, and thought that she would see through the blantant lies of the immature child Onix, however, she failed in my expectations. The third time she questioned my intentions, I decided that it ended here.

My committment to the city was quite evident. I did all that i could for the youngest of adventurers. I defended those who were being attacked even though I clearly had no chance of winning. I stood up for my self by expressing to her my feelings, and for standing up against myself, I was rejected citizenship. My emotions at the time kept me heated and words of irrational dismay left my mouth.

Nevaeh later decided to leave the city of Mercinae. My peers blamed her disapperance on myself. My intentions were never for her to leave our city. I wanted change, but I was not so foolish to think that she was not better suited for the job of Barony compared to myself. Regardless, she left, and i was there to be blamed. The ignorance of Mercinae was shown to me at this time.

Mercinae, City of Light? In the events the proceeded, there was no sign of light. Vengence, Immaturatiy, and anger were the only things that the City of Light represented at that time and now. My citizens, and friends, said the most awful things about me, both to my face and behind my back. Upon sight, they would attack me. No longer could I count on them for anything. In my time of need, where i felt i needed the most support, those who had agreed with my cause before Nevaeh left, claimed no association and openly mocked me. It mattered not to me at this time. I was quite able to fend for myself.

During this time, it was very difficult for myself to make any decisions. Calydon, a sworn enemy, spoke to me with great respect for the first time. He offered me insight to the ideas of Evil and I eventually sought out Lord Myrkul for further knowledge. Clytamnestra also made herself known to me. In truth though, I was waiting for something that never came.

I waited for the time where Lord Telemachus would speak to me, and express to me his desires for me to remain in his city. I waited for the other Barons of Mercinae to step up to the challenges that i provided for them. As it happened, Lord Telemachus only once addressed me on his own accord when i had killed a very young traveler on mistake. Time passed, and many opportunities presented themself to me.

I was offered a position into the Sorcerers Guild. It was my intentions when i entered the land to become a Sorcerer, however my plans were foiled by the likes of Ashmael. My growth from the time i was born upon this world proved to have made quite an impression on Ashmael. I was priviledged and hesitant with this offer. I wondered to myself a few thousand times whether or not I had it in me to be Evil. I didn't know if it was worth it to me to sacrafice the friends that I had. I realized that i wouldn't have to sacrifice my friends at all, because almost every single one of them had abandonded me. I joined the Sorcerers Guild and the City of Thakria.

Firentz, a man who fought for my cause to the very end, felt very betrayed by my move to Thakria. However, his actions after my supposed betrayal proved to solidify my decision as the correct one. Firentz sunk even farther then the likes of Onix. He held nothing back in his opinion about my decision and threw away all that our friendship once had. No longer did I second guess myself in moving to Thakria. No longer did i feel that i had lost something of value to me. Mercinae was nothing more to me then tthe roaches that i step upon.

The Gods proved to be my next challenge. My interests in both Lord Myrkul and Goddess Clytamnestra allowed me to understand the ideas and the purposes of both the Orders to an extent. However, I required much time to make that decision. My mind and body went into a hibernation. I existed for the sole purpose to exist. My mind developed expotentially and my body remained youthful and strong. My muscles though forgot the very things it had been trained to do over the years. It took me many months to train them back to the point that they were once at. Eventually, I made the decision to align myself with Lord Myrkul.

Which brings me to current day. I write this knowing that many events have been overseen and people that influenced my progress have been unnamed. This journal is not to give memory to names or events, but to remind myself my feelings in each event of importance to myself. I might reaccount my life in another entry,however, it is my intentions to live in the now rather then the past. Which brings this entry to an end.

Subject: Re: Mazrackia'a Journal Sat Aug 30, 2008 11:46 pm

In Avalon, it is the 12th day of Midwinter, 1031 years since the Divine War.

The last few days have left me very bored. My demons require more gold before i can summon any more. I am so desperate at this time to just give my demons my entire bank savings. However, it would not help, nor satisfy my hunger. My potions have run clean dry and I have been without enchanted items for some months now. It doesn't bother me that I am out of these things. It bothers me that i rely so heavily on them. Lastly, my herbs are running low.

My presence in the land is known, but not felt in this current state of things. Unable to defend myself from even the smallest travelers of Avalon, I find myself on constant alert. Waiting, watching, not doing anything but trying to be as best prepared as I possibly can be. It has gotten quite exhausting. I feel so weak, so depleted. In time though, all will be will. I will again rise above the foolish mortals of avalon and destroy those who stand in my way.

On a brighter note though, I had forgotten much of the terrain of Avalon. This 'inability' to 'defend' myself has allowed me to re-explore the many forgotten places of Avalon. I reintroduced myself to Thrullmere. All that is left is to hit the northeast portions of Avalon. Too long has it been for me to find my ways up there and fear that i might not beable to find my way home if i venture that far.

Although my last entry indicated that i would live in the here and now, the boredom that I have encountered has allowed me to relive some more memories. I write this in my journal not because of its importance or because of any other reason. I write this in my journal out of pure boredem. And so it starts like this...

In my very young days, not more then 21 years old, I was very intrigued by the Gods. I learned the history of many of the Gods, what they, each individually, stood for, and decided that i should make myself known to a God and ask their purpose. The God that I had approached was Telemachus. I had believed that Avalon would be a world of Justice. Where the world was set and balanced, was not so. Telemachus was kind enough to me when i presented myself to him. I thought i knew what i wanted. However, the world of Avalon is designed so the strongest survive and the weak are weeded out and thrown aside. I didn't want to be thrown aside and i knew that to avoid that, i needed a more direct involvement. Needless to say, especially due to my previous post about Lord Telemachus, he didn't pay enough attention to me and I began my search again.

Lord Diomedes was the next God I choose to invest myself in. For obvious reasons, the God of War had to know something of power and be knowledgable in the art of fighting. He welcomed me like I had never expected. Without questioning me, he provided me essential tools of the trade. Taught me life long lessons, and he trreated me as a son. I felt as though I was at home. No longer did i feel the need to have a God. Diomedes became more then just a God though. We spoke many times about family. I thought at the time that he was the closest thing to family that i would ever have in the cruel world of avalon.

Conversation became sparce however. Diomedes made himself less visible to me and i felt as though his interest in my had faded as well. My initial reaction was to seek that of another. I thought to myself, " I must know both sides of the Divine!" Lord Thanatos was visible for all the world to see. The only one at the time. Due to my previous encounters with the Gods I thought it to be a common occurence for mortals to speak to them directly. Without fear, I present myself to Lord Thanatos. This day is one that i will never forget.

Conversation was quick and straight to the point. I asked questions about his purpose, what he did in the land, and other questions that no mortal should ask a God. Lord Thanatos was not pleased with my questioning. He placed every curse, disease, mental problem, everything I imagine he could think of, on me. I guess i wasn't that suprissed as he was associated with thakria and he is directly the God of Darkness. Why would i expect an ounce of kindness from such a God?

Foolishness, arogance, stupidity, basically childish. I learned my lesson. I stirred away from the Gods from that time. I realized that they can be unpredicatable and need no reason or justification for there actions. Diomedes had taught me much of the needed tools and explained them so i could adjust them to my personal liking. At the time, that was all I needed and i made sure it satisfied me for many years.

Of course, my curiousity got the better of me and I started to ask my peers about the Gods. I thought that it would be a good idea to know what others had experienced so i might be able to gauge what to expect from divine in the future. Eventually, I became well enough prepared for what lie ahead and ultimately made the decision to join the Order of Myrkul, God of Evil.

My relationship with Lord Myrkul will remain private. So private in fact, that i refuse to write any of it in this journal. Gods forbid if i lose it and some fool read upon it.

This entry will end here as interestingly, my GuildMaster has returned and we have much to speak about. My boredom has ended and so i must go.